Nurse`s revenge

  •  

    A businessman was confined to the for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest... and on, and on. He order his nurses around as if they were his employees.
    One morning the head nnurse entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
    After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
    "No, I am sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can`t use an oral thermometer."
    This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom.
    After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!"
    She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing.
    After almost an half an hour, the man`s doctor came into the room. "What`s going on here?" asked the doctor.
    Angrily, the man answers, "What`s the matter, Doctor? Haven`t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
    "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a rose!"
  • Thoughtful Santa Santa was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife, Jeeto had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.
    He asked God, 'Why did you make her so kind hearted?'
    The Lord responded, 'So you could love her, my son.'
    'Why did you make her so...
  • What`s that noise? Banta is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.
    The dealer tells him, 'Look, I have a lot of models, but why don`t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred of trees for you in one day.'
    So, Banta takes the chainsaw home and...
  • Dancing duck A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
    On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner...
  • Drunk Santa Santa walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
    The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a taxi called for him.
    Santa is briefly surprised then...
  • Dying wish The company owner is dying and calls in his lawyer and his accountant.
    The owner says, 'I am dying and I want to take my money with me. At my funeral put these envelopes in my coffin.'
    So at the funeral, the lawyer and the accountant put the envelopes in the coffin. But, on the way home the lawyer felt bad and...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT